shaam ho chali hai –a sunset on this chapter of life
Haan yeh zaroori nahin
Jo paas hai, woh saath hai.
Na ye zaroori hai ki
Jo saath hai, woh paas hai.
This is a passage that I’ve always found to be remarkable and meaningful. It’s a beautiful lyric from a mediocre song which was written for a forgettable movie called Radio. It essentially means that whatever is close to you may not be with you, and that whatever is with you or beside you, is not necessarily close to you or at the top of your mind. It’s obviously more beautiful in Hindi than in English, but reflects many of my feelings on the transition between Mumbai and Vancouver.
There are experiences, people and places in our lives that will never be as close to us as we might have held them once, but may continue to keep an irreplaceable part of our hearts with them. Shreya Goshal’s syrupy voice in this lyric describes how a momentary interaction can be more influential than a lifetime of steeping, like a teabag, in the atmosphere of the place we were born into. Who we have always known doesn’t define who we’ve always been. Regardless of place, time or circumstance, we create our own stories by choosing what is of beauty and meaning in our lives. I would like to believe that there is no interaction that we have for no reason. I’m grateful for every person, situation and circumstance that created the ocean of meaning that surrounded me over more than two years in Mumbai and more than three years in India.
I’ve been back in Canada for two very full months now, walking a tightrope between remembering and longing for my life in Bombay and trying to create something new and wonderful here. This marks the end of little bird bombay. I will continue to write and post photos at my new little nook in the vast space of the internet, and I hope you visit me there:
I want to say a heartfelt, heart-full thank you to each and every person who has read, followed, written to me, or felt something from my writing and experiences over the history of this blog. You are the reason I’ve shared so much. Thank you engaging with me and encouraging me: you are so appreciated. Here is to continuing to seek, to learn, and to find beauty and meaning in every experience.
There are times when I simply cannot take myself to your blog because I meet too many of my own feelings in your writing. I miss India everyday. I find myself missing Delhi even when I am there, always living with the knowledge that I will be leaving again.
You certainly have the voice of a person who loves India, and loves to live in India. A voice which is so often muddled by the myriad of experiences we find strewn haphazardly across the landscape of reflections, full of clichés and misinformation. Too often these reflections boil down to words which should be beautiful, but they have been indulging misunderstandings for so long, that they’ve become boring, arrogant, stereotypical and most dismayingly, feature themselves at the forefront of defining the non-Indian’s experience of India. You know them, they gloat as the floozy around, self righteously printing themselves in books, even along the spines of countless brightly coloured ‘recommended reads’ in the isles of travel literature.
You convey your impressions with intelligence, sensitivity, understanding and respect. I love your appreciation for imagery and how you write about beauty.
I wish you the very best for the new chapter in your life!
Leyla,
Thank you so much for these beautiful, heartfelt and generous words. I loved many of the things you said, especially in mentioning how you miss Delhi even when you’re there, knowing you’ll leave again. I have many of the same feelings.
I’m glad you were able to find so much of yourself in my blog: it is so comforting to me to think that my feelings and understated approach to writing about India is appreciated. I truly feel that the longer I spend in a place, the less I know it, because I become more aware of everything that I can never know.
Thank you again for your generousness of heart, and I hope to continue to connect over wordpress.
Hi.. just stumbled upon your blog.. from the writeup I think this is a farewell entry to your stay in Mumbai (Bombay).. was wondering how come the photo you posted is from Tamil Nadu (possibly Chennai/Madras) in South India… the writing on the wall on the lest side of the pic is in Tamil, moreover the plate number of the auto-rickshaw reads “TN-xx”.. just wondering… U have a good day..
Hi Shafzeen,
Thank you for visiting! The last writeup is indeed from the end of my Bombay journey. I’m back in Canada now sadly and miss Bombay every day.
You’re right: that photo is from Chennai, actually from 2009. Though I lived mostly in Bombay, I travelled quite extensively around India and was lucky to visit many places. I posted that photo just because it’s one of my favourites, but you’re right, a Bombay photo would have been more appropriate.
Thanks again for reading.